Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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