Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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