i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
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