Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
