I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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