my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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