well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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