Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
