i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We were destined to go to rehab together
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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