I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
