Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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