Christians are straight up FREAKS
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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