Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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