i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
