# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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