Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
