He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize