well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
