Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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