I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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