i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
my shit smells like andre
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
