I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
