I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize