There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
