I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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