hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
