I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
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Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
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Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
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