My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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