Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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