Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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