My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
