My friends, they love my intelligence
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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