She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
