Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
