Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize