he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
