if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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