This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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