I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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