After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
