u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
