I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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