I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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