What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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