I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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