so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
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the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
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NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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