Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
