Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
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