I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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