Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
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did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
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He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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