in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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