Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I think my moral compass just broke
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
