I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
