She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
