cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
