I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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