so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
