If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
