Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
