Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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