Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
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I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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