just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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