my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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