Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
